she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
His nipple licking is glorious
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