sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
