My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
