Fine. I'll sleep in my office
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
