We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
