He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
