I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
