I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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