If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize