he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
