When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize