so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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