i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
