Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
