Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize