we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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