I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
