How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
