Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
