did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
