Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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