My first STD was from a foam party
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
