I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
