Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
