I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize