My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
