I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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