i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize