I swear she didn't look like that last week.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
