She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
