Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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