He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
