Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We were destined to go to rehab together
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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