Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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