Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
