Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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