Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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