Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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