so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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