i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
