just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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