I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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