Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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