somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize