Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So vagazzling was a success
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
