i need an iv and a liver transplant
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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