Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
