There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
