i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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