Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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