my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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