So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
