I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She even gives head with a lisp.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
