so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
