I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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