Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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