i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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