you guys were way drunker than both of me
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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