if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
