u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
