If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
