oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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