She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
