No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
