we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
