We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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