he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
