In the future we'll all be gay
I faked an abortion last night.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
