Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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