I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
