i think my tv is drunk
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I think I just sharted jello shots
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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