remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
