i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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