Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
