Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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