yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
