From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
