does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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