You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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