I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
