Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
